Losing My Life [...For His Sake] (12/10/2018)

Dear people who I put on my email list often without first getting their approval but who I've now been sending emails to for months so I guess I'll keep going,

I lost my life this week. But I'll get to that later. The real news is that Jon is still on date for baptism by the end of the month. Continue to pray for him. He can make it by the end of the year but it will take everything falling into place perfectly because for one thing the bishop and other important people will be out of town that weekend so we're gonna be figuring some things out with less help than we would otherwise have had.

I must say though, I love our bishop, Bishop Dahl. He's wonderful. I have so much more appreciation for bishops than I had before. How they do it I do not know. Or anyone who's at bishop-level or above (I know it's not a hierarchy but you know what I mean). It's an incredible sacrifice; as a former bishop-now-seminary teacher friend of mine once put it, "I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." Hah. Yeah.

On Wednesday I had a pretty big breakfast. Partly because my companion had leftover sausage and an egg, but I also just thought it was a good day for a big breakfast. No particular reason. Was pretty full. Went to District Council, stayed extra long for [reasons], came back and wanted to eat a quick lunch so we went to Arby's since I had seen them advertising NEW gyros and I've always seen that and been like "Fast food gyros? Sign me up!" but we never actually went until that day. They have some 2 for $6 deal and I assumed they'd be small and 2 would barely fill you up. So I order a traditional Greek gyro and a turkey gyro because I don't yet know how I feel about Arby's's's roast beef. Turns out they're pretty big. And of course I had to also get curly fries--it's Arby's! That's like the one reason to go there (other than gyros now)!--and a mint shake because... [sheepish shrug]---so naturally at this point I was feeling pretty darn full after two big meals. So since we got back late from District Council it was already like 2 PM or something so dinner wasn't even that far away. My stomach barely had time to settle by the time we had our member meal, and though it was tasty stuff (I think it was soup) it was a struggle. Lesson learned: get ONE gyro next time. (I guess you could consider that the alternate title of this email.)

So yeah. Not sure why I told that story. Let's move on.

I had exchanges with a missionary who is in his first transfer. It feels pretty weird to be one of the oldies. I'm not that old I guess, but in mission years I'm almost my parents' age. So pretty dang old! Hah. JK. It was a good opportunity to impart of a bit of the wisdom I have had imparted to me.

Okay, now on to what the click-bait subject line alluded to.

On Friday I started feeling pretty out of it in the evening. I was thinking about people I've known before and the lack of closure I have with them despite efforts to attain it. I wrote in my journal, "I really do not know who I am AT ALL anymore." I felt burdened by my unfixable past and worried about the uncertain future.

I wrote in my Revelation/Gratitude/Study journal the following:

Q: How can I feel okay when others won't forgive me/leave me behind?

And instead of wallowing in self-pity like the Grinch (Christmas references: 1), I turned to Adjusting to Missionary Life to look for answers with only a little bit of doubt that I would find any.

It took about 5 minutes.

Quoted in the introduction of ATML is a scripture I don't think I had ever really gotten much out of in the past.

Mark 8:35

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.

Sometimes I wish that I could save my old life. But I can't. My old life is gone. It's dead. If I tried to fix it, I'd lose it anyway; nobody will ever "find it" again. And it doesn't matter! I am starting a NEW life which will be a success only because I gave up my (old) life for His sake.

That's a beautiful thing. And I don't think I've ever gotten an answer from God so quickly before. It just goes to show that God wants to speak to us.

I can testify of that to all of you. Exepct answers to your questions. Have faith that they will come. Have faith even if they DON'T come immediately. Leave your old life behind for His sake, I implore you. Like it says in The Fourth Missionary, trust that God will make of you immeasurably far, far more than you will ever in all of eternity make of yourself. You will create of you a smudge; He will create a masterpiece. You will create of you an ordinary man [or woman]. He will create a God.

Love,

Elder Gallagher