Is This Thing On (9/23/2019)
Dear friends and family,
Firstly,
someone I taught was baptized! Not by me though. It was Alberta, who I
did not find but started teaching pretty early on here in Warren. We
weren't really getting anywhere with her however and though I can't
remember all the reasoning behind it as this point, we made the decision
to hand her off to the sisters in the ward. From there Alberta seemed
to take off, so I guess it was a good match-up.
I
also got asked to give a talk this week in church. I got asked on
Friday. I spent most of my spare time writing it. I got the inspiration
to actually tell a personal story, which I almost never am prone to do
because I don't consider any of my life experiences very inspiring. This
one wasn't particularly either--the talk was about "love one another"
and I felt inspired to tell the story of when I trained a new missionary
and failed to demonstrate love. It seemed to work out okay. The
microphone has been broken in our chapel for a bit too so I just had to
talk loudly.
Let's go through bullet points for the other stuff this week:
• Slow dive into the Book of Mormon is really cool
As
I have said I'm reading the Book of Mormon two chapters a day (roughly)
to finish by the time I end my mission. Sometimes two chapters is a
lot--some Book of Mormon chapters are pretty lengthy--but other times it
isn't a lot at all. Such was the case with the Isaiah chapters in 2
Nephi. Because I was committed to only doing two chapters a day and I
didn't want to get ahead of the schedule, I decided to slow-study the
Isaiah chapters on those days, and as a consequence understood them and
got more out of them than I'd ever gotten before. It was pretty sweet.
• The humble wedding
At my 1-month mark way
back in Las Vegas I attended a wedding held in the ward's Relief Society
room. That was a super humble wedding (obviously). Little did I know
that not only would that not be the only wedding held in a Relief
Society room that I would attend on my mission, but that wasn't even the
most humble wedding I would attend. This wedding was definitely not
much of a party, haha. It was pretty much done just to do it, which is
better than not doing it of course but I mean, the guy didn't even dress
nice for his own wedding! Kind of sad. Just one example of how
special/sacred things will only be sacred if we treat them as such. If
we don't treat them as such, they won't mean anything to us. But it was
fun nonetheless.
• Vicki is awesome
While on an exchange with
Elder Johnson, we tracted into an old Greek lady named Vicki. She had a
heavy Greek accent and was really sweet. Here's the lesson report:
We
knocked on her door and met Vicki. At first she didn't seem too
open--she was just talking through the door. Eventually she decided to
come out and sit down on a chair to tell us a story of a dream where she
saw the Savior. She asked us what we were there to share with her and
at first she thought it was nothing new but we managed to explain enough
of the Restoration where we could tell her how the priesthood authority
was lost and a little bit about how God has called a prophet in this
modern day. We gave her a Book of Mormon and she said she would
definitely read it--if it's from the Lord, she will read it, she says.
It was an amazing visit even though our purpose wasn't entirely clear to
her. The Spirit was there. She isn't sure she can change her religion
but she still wants to read it and talk to us. She gave us her number
and says we can call her to set up a time to stop by again.
I
wish I could describe how sweet this old lady was. She even said how
she loves America and loves Greece, even though "neither is doing well
right now", she still believes in them. And here's what happened when we
called her two days later to set up an appointment (which is happening
tonight).
We
called her and set up an appointment. She told us an awesome story about
how she had a friend over who saw the Book of Mormon sitting on her
counter and asked her about it. Vicki told her where she got it and her
friend said she had had one too but had thrown in away, but seeing it
and hearing Vicki talk about it caused her to feel guilty and say she
was gonna go fetch it out of the garbage and read it!! Vicki is great.
• Weird dream about mediocre-CGI birds numbering in the billions warring in the sky
Yeah, my dreams aren't quite as magical as Vicki's.
Here
is the text of my talk for those who are interested. (I only changed
the wording for a few things slightly from the text as I spoke it so
what I have here is mostly accurate to the talk I gave.)
Earlier
this year I had an experience on my mission that brought a lot of
self-reflection. I had just pushed through an extremely difficult point
of my mission with my head just barely above water. I felt proud of
myself as the transfer was coming to an end. Things were going well.
Then we got a call from our mission president and the news came in that I would be training a new missionary. This was pretty huge. I had been on my mission for nearly 18 months and had never held any sort of leadership position whatsoever. (I was starting to think they just didn't see me as leadership material.) And yet the prospect of training was pretty daunting. Could I actually do it?
In the next day or two, I had another small challenge come up where I at first felt uncertain and afraid, but somehow I was able to push through that as well. And pushing through it I felt a remarkable and inexplicable change in myself. A surge of absolutely unprecedented confidence and joy came through me. I was untouchable. I felt like I could literally do anything. It didn't make any sense, but I didn't care. I was ready to take on the challenge of training, and not only that but in being called to train I had had a prayer answered. I had prayed that God would help me develop more love. Loving others was always something I had struggled with and I was so grateful and humbled that God would give me the opportunity to learn how to be loving, and He also gave me a confidence boost to enable me to overcome whatever came my way. From that point on, you could say I was excited to train.
The day came and I got my new missionary. But I quickly learned two things that were very unexpected: first, he had not been to the Missionary Training Center as normal missionaries do. He was doing a three month "two-transfer mission" which is essentially a "trial" mission which those with various medical or mental health conditions may be called to do before they are approved to go on to the MTC and the full-length mission. (Coincedentally, I had also done a two-transfer mission in the Las Vegas West mission way back before I got to the Columbus Ohio mission.) Secondly, my trainee was physically disabled--he had fetal alcohol syndrome, which had handicapped his physical and mental development from before birth and clearly had affected his life in every way. I hadn't expected to be training with those two factors at play, but I remained steady. Then the third challenge emerged as we went about our day--my new missionary didn't have any confidence in himself and had a difficult time even summoning the effort to try in many things in missionary work. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back, and throughout that first day that wonderful confidence I had gained melted away entirely as I became overwhelmed with what I was being asked to do.
I do not blame my trainee one bit for the presence of any of those challenges; they weren't his fault. But I had never trained a missionary before and here I was expected to train someone who was disabled, lacked confidence, and had essentially zero missionary training. (I know that because I also started my mission with almost zero training.) Having once been there myself I probably should have understood where he was coming from. But regrettably, I did not show understanding. Throughout our companionship I was frustrated with his lack of confidence and consistently impatient with his weaknesses. I let those challenges break me. As a consequence, that whole transfer was so hard. It broke me down--the reason not being because those challenges were present, but because I failed to love my trainee. Whereas the challenges of the previous two transfers had turned me upside down, that transfer of training brought me to the brink because I realized so starkly that not only was I lacking a bit of God's ability to love, I had no idea how to love others. And without that love, I was miserable.
I've always struggled with that. I wish I could say I didn't. I don't know how to love people.
The thing that humbled me the most that transfer is when, near the end of my time with my trainee, words from a talk by Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles came into my mind:
"If Christ were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, He would help the child get up and encourage the next steps. Christ is the helper and consoler. His ways bring joy and hope—eventually and always."
But,
"If Lucifer were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, he would scream at the child, punish him, and tell him to quit trying. Lucifer’s ways bring discouragement and despair—eventually and always."
What can humble you more than realizing that your character is closer to that of Satan's than Christ's? And having the thought in my mind that I had acted like that towards someone who was physically handicapped... I was mortified.
I've noticed that some people are innately blessed and gifted with the power to love. My trainee was probably one of those. He was patient with me and openly forgave me for my shortcomings, acknowledging that I had never trained someone before, so it was only natural that I made some mistakes. He didn't even have any bad feelings for his own alcoholic mother who he never knew who was the cause of his disability. That's amazing.
Ever since that transfer, I've learned a bit about love, mostly from studying God's love.
I'm going to paraphrase one of my companions:
"I used to think God had this big chart where He measured how righteous everyone is. Here's me, here's my seminary teacher, here's my bishop, and here's the prophet. But God doesn't even really look at it that way. He doesn't compare one man's goodness with another. He doesn't even have a chart."
So of us seem to be so innately wired to want to give our love only to those to are good enough, who "earn" it from us. Those who are charming or likeable or talented or who like us and don't offend us or disagree with us. But that isn't what Christ taught.
"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?"
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
Did we earn Christ's atoning sacrifice? Did we deserve that? Not at all.
Why should you love someone who despises you? Why would you pray for those you use you or persecute you? Sure it sounds noble, but it still just isn't logical to our base human minds. Like Korihor in the Book of Mormon, I think we tend to believe even just a little bit in the carnal idea that every man prospers according to his genius and conquers according to his strength--meaning that our personal worth is equivalent to our performance in the world. The world accepts that idea. But I want to testify that that is not true. That is a worldly philosophy, a Satanic concept. Yes, you should strive for improvement, but not in misguided pursuit of personal worth. Your worth cannot change one way or another. Your right to be loved cannot change one way or another. The command to love others does not have any asterisks. You should want others to improve, yes, but not while believing that them doing so will grant them any more worth in your eyes or anyone else's. You should want it out of love for them. All people are children of God who are here on this earth for the chance to improve. When we deny people that chance to improve for whatever reason, we are opposing the very love of God!
I've experienced the love of God before for fleeting moments, kind of like my short-lived burst of confidence. It truly is the most desireable of all things. Love to me in large part means wanting the best for somebody and helping them reach it. That's what God's love is all about.
We are to do the same. Guide others, support them, forgive them.
Loving those who I may not understand or like that much is difficult for me. Yet God has told me that I do possess a loving heart. I don't know if I've discovered that for myself yet. I've prayed for it, but I have to admit that God hasn't yet shown me the answer.
What I do know is this: if we desire charity, we must pray for it, and make room in our heart for it. He will expand our capacity to love as we make that effort.
How can we develop the kind of love that God has, and is? How can we show that love to those around us? The key, I believe, is remembrance. Remember who the people around you are. It's true that many people sometimes seem selfish, foolish, unlikeable, or annoying. Some might even resemble Elder Renlund's example of Lucifer teaching a child to walk. We need to remember that that isn't all there is to them. To these people ensnared in the bonds and traps of sin God does not look upon with disdain. These were at one point His noble followers. In the premortal existence they held valiantly to truth and kept their first estate. Now they are here in the world, and it's thrown many challenges at them that have caused some to break down, to falter, to become more like the adversary. But that isn't who they truly are. That's just circumstance. They're just filling the roles that this telestial, TEMPORARY world has put them into. God sees past all that. He is pleading with them and us to see all of us as we truly are. I feel that to each of us who has forgotten our divine identity God is speaking these words through His Spirit: "You are not Satan's toy. You are my son! You're my daughter! Please, remember who you are! You can choose to follow Me! I will help you! I would die for you!"
Is it possible to love like that? To those who struggle to love as I seem to, I testify that we can love one another as Jesus loves us. We do have the capacity. What we must do is pray, always, with all the energy of our hearts to be gifted with the love of Christ, which is charity. And we must strive and fight and refuse to forget who the people around us are. The circumstances of this world do not define them. They are not Satan's puppets. They have the power to choose to change and they always will. They are our brothers and our sisters. With the love of Christ in us I know that we can love even those who may seem unloveable. And I pray that we will all follow the footsteps of our Savior in His command to love one another.
Then we got a call from our mission president and the news came in that I would be training a new missionary. This was pretty huge. I had been on my mission for nearly 18 months and had never held any sort of leadership position whatsoever. (I was starting to think they just didn't see me as leadership material.) And yet the prospect of training was pretty daunting. Could I actually do it?
In the next day or two, I had another small challenge come up where I at first felt uncertain and afraid, but somehow I was able to push through that as well. And pushing through it I felt a remarkable and inexplicable change in myself. A surge of absolutely unprecedented confidence and joy came through me. I was untouchable. I felt like I could literally do anything. It didn't make any sense, but I didn't care. I was ready to take on the challenge of training, and not only that but in being called to train I had had a prayer answered. I had prayed that God would help me develop more love. Loving others was always something I had struggled with and I was so grateful and humbled that God would give me the opportunity to learn how to be loving, and He also gave me a confidence boost to enable me to overcome whatever came my way. From that point on, you could say I was excited to train.
The day came and I got my new missionary. But I quickly learned two things that were very unexpected: first, he had not been to the Missionary Training Center as normal missionaries do. He was doing a three month "two-transfer mission" which is essentially a "trial" mission which those with various medical or mental health conditions may be called to do before they are approved to go on to the MTC and the full-length mission. (Coincedentally, I had also done a two-transfer mission in the Las Vegas West mission way back before I got to the Columbus Ohio mission.) Secondly, my trainee was physically disabled--he had fetal alcohol syndrome, which had handicapped his physical and mental development from before birth and clearly had affected his life in every way. I hadn't expected to be training with those two factors at play, but I remained steady. Then the third challenge emerged as we went about our day--my new missionary didn't have any confidence in himself and had a difficult time even summoning the effort to try in many things in missionary work. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back, and throughout that first day that wonderful confidence I had gained melted away entirely as I became overwhelmed with what I was being asked to do.
I do not blame my trainee one bit for the presence of any of those challenges; they weren't his fault. But I had never trained a missionary before and here I was expected to train someone who was disabled, lacked confidence, and had essentially zero missionary training. (I know that because I also started my mission with almost zero training.) Having once been there myself I probably should have understood where he was coming from. But regrettably, I did not show understanding. Throughout our companionship I was frustrated with his lack of confidence and consistently impatient with his weaknesses. I let those challenges break me. As a consequence, that whole transfer was so hard. It broke me down--the reason not being because those challenges were present, but because I failed to love my trainee. Whereas the challenges of the previous two transfers had turned me upside down, that transfer of training brought me to the brink because I realized so starkly that not only was I lacking a bit of God's ability to love, I had no idea how to love others. And without that love, I was miserable.
I've always struggled with that. I wish I could say I didn't. I don't know how to love people.
The thing that humbled me the most that transfer is when, near the end of my time with my trainee, words from a talk by Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles came into my mind:
"If Christ were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, He would help the child get up and encourage the next steps. Christ is the helper and consoler. His ways bring joy and hope—eventually and always."
But,
"If Lucifer were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, he would scream at the child, punish him, and tell him to quit trying. Lucifer’s ways bring discouragement and despair—eventually and always."
What can humble you more than realizing that your character is closer to that of Satan's than Christ's? And having the thought in my mind that I had acted like that towards someone who was physically handicapped... I was mortified.
I've noticed that some people are innately blessed and gifted with the power to love. My trainee was probably one of those. He was patient with me and openly forgave me for my shortcomings, acknowledging that I had never trained someone before, so it was only natural that I made some mistakes. He didn't even have any bad feelings for his own alcoholic mother who he never knew who was the cause of his disability. That's amazing.
Ever since that transfer, I've learned a bit about love, mostly from studying God's love.
I'm going to paraphrase one of my companions:
"I used to think God had this big chart where He measured how righteous everyone is. Here's me, here's my seminary teacher, here's my bishop, and here's the prophet. But God doesn't even really look at it that way. He doesn't compare one man's goodness with another. He doesn't even have a chart."
So of us seem to be so innately wired to want to give our love only to those to are good enough, who "earn" it from us. Those who are charming or likeable or talented or who like us and don't offend us or disagree with us. But that isn't what Christ taught.
"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?"
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
Did we earn Christ's atoning sacrifice? Did we deserve that? Not at all.
Why should you love someone who despises you? Why would you pray for those you use you or persecute you? Sure it sounds noble, but it still just isn't logical to our base human minds. Like Korihor in the Book of Mormon, I think we tend to believe even just a little bit in the carnal idea that every man prospers according to his genius and conquers according to his strength--meaning that our personal worth is equivalent to our performance in the world. The world accepts that idea. But I want to testify that that is not true. That is a worldly philosophy, a Satanic concept. Yes, you should strive for improvement, but not in misguided pursuit of personal worth. Your worth cannot change one way or another. Your right to be loved cannot change one way or another. The command to love others does not have any asterisks. You should want others to improve, yes, but not while believing that them doing so will grant them any more worth in your eyes or anyone else's. You should want it out of love for them. All people are children of God who are here on this earth for the chance to improve. When we deny people that chance to improve for whatever reason, we are opposing the very love of God!
I've experienced the love of God before for fleeting moments, kind of like my short-lived burst of confidence. It truly is the most desireable of all things. Love to me in large part means wanting the best for somebody and helping them reach it. That's what God's love is all about.
We are to do the same. Guide others, support them, forgive them.
Loving those who I may not understand or like that much is difficult for me. Yet God has told me that I do possess a loving heart. I don't know if I've discovered that for myself yet. I've prayed for it, but I have to admit that God hasn't yet shown me the answer.
What I do know is this: if we desire charity, we must pray for it, and make room in our heart for it. He will expand our capacity to love as we make that effort.
How can we develop the kind of love that God has, and is? How can we show that love to those around us? The key, I believe, is remembrance. Remember who the people around you are. It's true that many people sometimes seem selfish, foolish, unlikeable, or annoying. Some might even resemble Elder Renlund's example of Lucifer teaching a child to walk. We need to remember that that isn't all there is to them. To these people ensnared in the bonds and traps of sin God does not look upon with disdain. These were at one point His noble followers. In the premortal existence they held valiantly to truth and kept their first estate. Now they are here in the world, and it's thrown many challenges at them that have caused some to break down, to falter, to become more like the adversary. But that isn't who they truly are. That's just circumstance. They're just filling the roles that this telestial, TEMPORARY world has put them into. God sees past all that. He is pleading with them and us to see all of us as we truly are. I feel that to each of us who has forgotten our divine identity God is speaking these words through His Spirit: "You are not Satan's toy. You are my son! You're my daughter! Please, remember who you are! You can choose to follow Me! I will help you! I would die for you!"
Is it possible to love like that? To those who struggle to love as I seem to, I testify that we can love one another as Jesus loves us. We do have the capacity. What we must do is pray, always, with all the energy of our hearts to be gifted with the love of Christ, which is charity. And we must strive and fight and refuse to forget who the people around us are. The circumstances of this world do not define them. They are not Satan's puppets. They have the power to choose to change and they always will. They are our brothers and our sisters. With the love of Christ in us I know that we can love even those who may seem unloveable. And I pray that we will all follow the footsteps of our Savior in His command to love one another.
Almost
all the people we're teaching or are trying to teach are either not
progressing or crazy things are happening in their lives. So your
prayers are requested.
Love,
Elder Gallagher
PICS:
- Albi the albino snake
- Baptism of Alberta (who I taught for a short period of time before we decided to hand her off to the sisters)
- Wedding and wedding after party (blurred faces cuz I didn't ask for their permission or nothin)
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